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/ ARLINGTON, Va. - Staff Sgt. Christian Engeldrum's brothers in arms didn't have the chance to bid him farewell a year ago when the New York firefighter was killed in Iraq - they were still fighting the war.
But yesterday, on the first anniversary of Engeldrum's death, eight of them came to Arlington National Cemetery to give a proper, final goodbye.
"We didn't get to come to the ceremony here," said Staff Sgt. Norberto Carasquillo, who remained in Iraq with the rest of the New York National Guard's Fighting 69th. "We went to a memorial there."
As a steady rain fell, Carasquillo and his fellow Alpha Squad members knelt in the muddy grass, touching their friend's tombstone.
Earlier, someone else had left candles, an FDNY decal, cigarettes and a bottle of Miller Genuine Draft, with a sip left in the bottom. "That was our beer," Carasquillo explained.
In Iraq, there had been little room for memories or healing after the death of Engeldrum, who appeared on page 1 of the Daily News three years earlier raising a U.S. flag at Ground Zero.
The bomb that gutted Engeldrum's Humvee last Nov. 29 also killed Spec. Wilfredo Urbina and wounded three others, two of whom came to mourn yesterday.
The memorial in Iraq for Engeldrum and Urbina came four days after the attack, on Dec. 3. Later that same day, the 69th lost another member of the unit, Henry Irizarry. In all, Carasquillo counts 19 members of the 69th who died in Iraq.
"We haven't forgotten them," said Sgt. Felix Vargas, who survived the Humvee blast. "We will never forget."
Carasquillo said he doesn't regret going to war, saying it was better to show the world America "will go wherever we need to go to keep the fighting from coming home."
But he and his men don't feel at ease, either.
"People always say you want to bury the ghosts, get closure," Carasquillo said. "For me, the war was closure for 9/11. That's what I thought. But like they say, be careful what you wish for. Now I've got new ghosts."
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